


just one last time

by EasyPeasyPanic



Series: my darker fics [7]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Drugging, Edo Tensei, Emotional Manipulation, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'll add more tags tomorrow when I'm awake, I'm gonna tag this as mentally unstable bc Kagami's a little off in this, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of sharingan, Might be unrequited, Might not, Pining, Sacrifice, You can tell I don't like Homura just based on his role in the story, dark kagami, k thanks, mentioned self injury, pretty open to interpretation, so take it as you will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:28:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23996749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EasyPeasyPanic/pseuds/EasyPeasyPanic
Summary: Kagami's going to bring Tobirama-sensei back to life no matter who he has to sacrifice or use in order to get the man he loves back.
Relationships: Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Kagami, Shimura Danzou & Uchiha Kagami
Series: my darker fics [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1657405
Comments: 6
Kudos: 108





	just one last time

**Author's Note:**

> i've never liked homura
> 
> I think I'm gonna post all my fluff, happy drabbles tomorrow. Just to light things up

* * *

Kagami drops to the ground first. He settles against the grass, glancing up at the noon sun, and baking in the heat of the sweltering day. He goes under a tree, sitting at the base and stretching his legs, motioning for Homura to follow him into the shade.

"We should be safe here." Kagami says eagerly, pulling a bamboo canteen out from the scroll at his side, fanning himself with the other hand. "We're close enough to home to rest." 

Homura adjusts his glasses, face pinched up in grief. He sits down beside the Uchiha, knees to his chest, giving him a strange look. 

"Is that tea?"

"Mugicha." Kagami replies with an overly eager smile, like a snake in the grass that was _so close to unassuming_ prey that it could taste it. "You didn't bring tea?"

Homura blinks, "No…?" He slumps further into himself. "Why did you bring that? You hate tea."

"Sensei didn't hate it, though." Kagami replies evenly, twisting the top off of the container. He pours some into the top, using it like a cup, offering it to Homura. "Here, use this. I'll just drink it straight out of the bottle. I thought, if there was ever a time for tea, it would be to salute bringing Sensei home."

Homura turns his gaze onto the pack resting against Kagami's thigh, where a single black scroll laid inside. His sadness was palpable, though Kagami didn't blame him for it. What they saw when they arrived to retrieve their beloved sensei was--

A total massacre, if he's being honest. Dozens of bodies rotting in the summer's heat, the smell of _rot_ overpowering the senses. By the time they'd found where Tobirama had fallen, his blood dried onto him in a deep, thick _black_ all over his cracked armour, his face, and his fingers were mangled from gripping his kunai and blades too tightly. The smell of him had been rancid by the time they'd arrived, left too long to decompose, and Kagami isn't sure which smell was worse, the corpse or Homura's vomit when he tried to pick Sensei up to seal him in the retrieval scroll. 

Kagami raises his tea to the sky, "To Tobirama-sensei." He murmurs, and then tilts his canteen towards his lips, but _pauses._

(Years ago, when they were all genin, Tobirama-sensei would _stop_ practice for tea breaks whenever things were too intense and they were exhausted. He'd pour it himself, make it himself, and serve each of his students. It was a game to see which of them would drink and ultimately gag on the salt Sensei had added, and which ones would _wait_ and watch someone else take the first drink to make sure it wasn't tampered with. One of the first lessons Tobirama ever taught him was to always be cautious.)

Homura doesn't seem to have inherited his natural suspicion, because he doesn't hesitate to take a sip. Easily downs the full cup. Kagami hesitates, tilts the cup back, lets the cool tea lick at his lips, but he doesn't drink. His teammate doesn't seem to notice. 

"To sensei." Homura echoes. His eyes are still on Kagami's pack, and his hands are shaking as he hands back the cap. Kagami seals the drink away, into his storage scroll, and they sit in a comfortable silence. They're both exhausted, or at least Kagami _knows_ that he is. And his stamina is far greater than his weaker teammate's had ever been, but it had been too dangerous to move slowly in enemy territory, especially with the risk of lingering enemies. 

Kagami closes his eyes, leaning against the rough bark of the tree, finally relaxing. It had broken his heart the entire time, having to walk away from his teacher that night. Tugged along by Hiruzen to keep him moving, to make sure he didn't go back _screaming_ and fighting to try and save the person he loved the most. And now he was _here_ , with this teacher's corpse in his scroll, by the side of a his…. 

Very expendable teammate. Who was paling as they spoke, his entire body jerking as if he was falling asleep. _Good._

"Are you alright?" Kagami asks him, watching as brown eyes begin to glaze over. Homura blinked slowly, sluggishly rubbing at his face. He clutched weakly at the tree to steady himself. 

"I don't-- I don't feel right, Kagami." Homura murmurs, his mouth moving like it was full of something, lips not meeting as he spoke. He almost fell forward, but caught himself on Kagami's shoulder. "I...don't know what's wrong."

Kagami's lips twitch into a smile, "You look tired, Mura. Why don't you rest a bit?" He suggests, his stomach fluttering in excitement. The other man's eyes widen, and he must be able to read Kagami's face. Read the pleased smile on his face and the lack of panic and finally _understood_. 

"You poisoned the tea?" He whispered, horrified, _trying_ to scramble away. It doesn't work, he's ingested too much and it's fast acting. Kagami pushes him forward, and Homura's glasses fall off his face when he tumbles onto his belly. 

"Drugged it." Kagami answers cheerfully. "I'm not trying to kill you, Mura."

Homura's fingers drag in the dirt, his entire body shuddering with effort as he tries to crawl away from Kagami. He's betrayed, obviously, with a trembling lip, but Kagami wonders what else he's thinking. Does he think that perhaps Kagami's a henge by the enemy shinobi? Or his mind has been affected by a foreign technique? Or does he understand that Kagami's decided to drug him of his own accord?

It takes a few more minutes of pathetic simpering before the boy collapses into a motionless heap. Kagami's body aches from travel, but he stands up and wipes the sweat from his brow. Shifts and stretches out his tense muscles before going to examine his teammate. 

Homura is out cold, his entire body limp and his eyes closed. Kagami grabs his broken glasses, stuffing them into his travel pack to get rid of the evidence. Thankfully, Homura was a little shorter and lighter than him.

Hauling the brown-haired man over his shoulders, Kagami took off towards the village. 

**_____ **

Hiruzen _barely_ catches him before he collapses to the floor, his wound to the abdomen bleeding across his friend's tan hands. 

"Kagami!" Hiruzen's eyes darted up to the ceiling where they both knew a few hidden ANBU were located. "Get a medic!" He orders, and then pulls the Uchiha close to him. "What happened-- Kami, there's so much blood." Saru hauls him up across the Hokage's desk, across the papers and scrolls, knocking books and ink off. 

Kagami groans in pain. 

"Ambush." He moans out. "You were right, Saru. Shouldn't have gone to get Sensei's body in enemy territory. We couldn't even get near it before-- before--"

"Is Homura…?" Hiruzen whispers, eyes wide. Fingers pressed up against the wound that Kagami had so carefully crafted against his own body, just deep enough to tear the flesh into a wicked scene, but not enough to have torn through vital organs. "Is he…?"

Kagami nods gravely, groaning. Kami, planned or not, this _truly_ hurt. Genuinely felt like someone had punched him _hard_ in the stomach, which had turned into a blinding, searing sort of pain all across his body. Even breathing seemed to _hurt._

But everything was going his way, so he grits his teeth and _endures_. Clenches his fingers into fists, digging his nails into the soft flesh of his palms to distract himself.

"He died, Saru." Kagami cries out, the lies slipping out between his teeth like water from a broken glass. "Kami, I couldn't even-- even bring him _home_. Or Sensei, I'm sorry."

Hiruzen looks stricken, his eyes watering, but no tears fall. His face hardens out of grief immediately, and then smoothes out to a panicked smile. "It's okay. You're going to be okay." He assures, and Kagami actually does let out a loud groan when he pushes down _harder_ to stop the bleeding. 

Kagami clutches at his new Hokage's wrists. Hiruzen's eyes dart to his face, and the Uchiha frantically shakes his head. ( _An actor, an actor, always the best out of the whole team._ )

"We can't send anyone else. Please, Saru." His words slur. "Please, I can't lose anyone else."

"I know, Gami." Saru says, heartbrokenly. "I know, we aren't sending anybody else out for the bodies. Sensei wouldn't want us to die just to bury him--" He glances up just as the door bursts open, three medics flooding the room. A stretcher clutched in the arms of one of them, and Kagami felt his whole world spinning from blood loss. 

He'd accounted for that, though. The Uchiha takes a deep breath, laying his head down against the uncomfortable wood and scattered papers.

Lets himself fade out into a peaceful black _nothingness_ just as the medics surround him. 

**_____ **

Danzō's arms are crossed on his chest when Kagami arrives home, released from the hospital a handful of days later. It's dark outside, and Kagami slips inside quietly, giving his friend a nod. 

"Is everything ready?" He asks quietly, and Danzō pauses. He hesitates, uncrossing his arms, giving Kagami a once over like he was trying to pick apart his intentions over and over again. 

"I kept him alive, if that's what you're asking. And Hiruzen seems none the wiser." Danzō replies curtly, frowning. His hair shifts, falling in front of his eyes, and he leans closer. "Kagami, are you sure you want to--"

"Yes." Kagami says easily. "We're too far to stop now."

Danzō doesn't seem entirely convinced, but that doesn't matter. He'd incriminate himself if he tried to bring it to the attention of their other teammates. "I could slit his throat and hide the body for you. We can still change our plans. Are you _sure_ this is what you want to do? If you get caught…" He trails off, if only to test his courage, but Kagami is far past the stage of caring about getting caught. The worst punishment that Hiruzen could give him for this, for practicing a forbidden technique and murdering a peer would be death. 

And death would be preferable over an entire life without Tobirama-sensei. Kagami would happily perform the deed with his own hand, if only to get to see the man once more in the afterlife. 

"Dan," Kagami smiles, clapping a hand against his shoulder. He gives him an earnest smile, wide and charming, just like he did when they were children and Kagami convinced him to sneak out for dango. "You know how much Sensei means to me, right? Like how you feel about Hiruzen?"

(He doesn't mention how unlike Danzō's affection towards their Hokage which unrequited since his marriage to Biwako, _his_ loving relationship with Tobirama-sensei was real and intense.)

Danzō is still frowning, though he nods along. He won't say anything to Hiruzen about _any_ of this, which is why Kagami enlisted his help originally. If only for Danzō's natural sense of self preservation to keep him loyal if things went astray, and for his particular _skill_ in getting his hands on certain, less appropriate materials. 

Such as the forbidden scroll containing the seal formula for Sensei's reanimation technique.

( _Edo Tensei_ , his mind provided excitedly.)

"What will you do if Sensei doesn't want to stay reanimated?" Danzō questions with a touch of unease in his voice, no, not _unease_ . Uncertainty, as if Kagami weren't making sense. He swallows. "Sometimes we think things, we want to _feel_ things, but they aren't really true--"

"Shut up." Kagami demands, fists clenching at his sides, but he calms down immediately. He's not going to engage with his friend if he can help it, not when they're on such a tedious time frame, not when his whole body is _thrumming_ with anticipation and desire. "Danzō, you'd do anything for Saru, right? If he died, you'd do anything to bring him back?"

Silently, the scarred man nods. 

Kagami continues, "I can't live without him, Dan. I _can't_ . We have to be together-- why else would he create this technique if not for us to use it?" His smile fades into a dark twist of his lips, and he leans closer to his closest friend. "Besides, I have so many plans to thank you for taking care of Homura while I was in the hospital. You know, sometimes I can use my Sharingan to... _influence_ people, right?"

Danzō's breathing slows. 

"And Hiruzen trusts me so much, he doesn't even bring his ANBU guards with us when we go out training or if I invite him for lunch at my house. It wouldn't be hard to...get things moving in a different direction." 

It dead stops. He's frozen, eyes wide and _thoughtful_ . Danzou's got that _look_ in his eyes-- which Kagami knows far too well after so many years together-- where it looks like he's got a million schemes and theories going through his head at once. Like he's preparing to take full advantage of something. 

Danzō closes his eyes, takes a deep breath. "I'm still not convinced that this is the best course of action--"

"I'm doing this for you, Danzō. There are two ways I can see _him_ again, but this way is the least painful for you and Torifu and Hiruzen. Would you rather I gut myself instead and follow after him in the afterlife?" Kagami asks, all big shining eyes and pouting lips, but he can _see_ the reaction he was hoping for. The twist of pain in Danzō's eyes, the sudden guilt that washes over his features as though he can already imagine the Uchiha's dying moments and he shuts up. "You know I love you, right? Like a brother? You don't want me to have to take drastic measures to be with him, do you?"

"Of course not. Here take this. I left Homura in your bedroom." Danzō informs him curtly, slipping a scroll out of his sleeve. It's small, plain and red, but Kagami takes it into his hands like it's a delicate piece of glass. "I had to return the original scroll before Hiruzen noticed it was gone, but I made you this copy. You remember the hand signs?"

Kagami nods eagerly, his Sharingan spinning his eyes. The memories of the movements flowing back to him like a rush of water into roots, and his body aches to react. To begin weaving the signs and bring back the person he wants more than anything else in the entire world.

Danzō's eyes flash with emotion, a quick shift that's almost unreadable. Not quite regret, because he's never been fond of Homura-- he'd actually been the one to suggest using their teammate for this purpose as the most expendable sacrifice of all their teammates. Koharu was far too perceptive for her own good, and would have put up more of a fight. Kagami would never _dream_ of hurting Torifu or Hiruzen, although…

(If he absolutely _had to_ , if it came down to his future with Tobirama or one of his friends, his choice was clear. He loved his friends, but Tobirama was the air in his lungs, the blood in his veins. His heart was beating entirely for _him_ , but he was gone. He was gone and the world was colorless and miserable, and it felt like he was stuck underwater, not quite drowning but not living either.)

"I'll keep Hiruzen away. Smooth things over about Homura's... _death_ ." Danzō stops in the doorway, hands automatically reaching up to activate the seals that would keep anyone out of the house. They'd been friends for so long, it was second nature to activate each other's safety measures when they were leaving. "I burned _his_ body and then buried it, but I left some…blood in a vial just in case. It'll be enough to revive him a few more times, if this attempt fails."

Kagami's far too pleased by the entire situation. His heart leaps to his throat, and he fights back the urge to _shove_ him out of his house so he can get started. So he can bring him back, be in his arms, just be with _Tobirama-sensei_ one more time. He wouldn't fail, not at this. Never at this.

"Thank you." 

Danzō disappears out the door, closing it gently behind him. Kagami waits a few moments, feeling the _warm-safe-guarded-hot_ chakra of his seals encircle his small house. 

Scroll in hand, he stalks into his bedroom. 

**_____ **

He's never actually seen it done before. Sensei had never let anyone observe such a technique before declaring it forbidden. He's practiced the hand signs, memorized them with his Sharingan, but also taught his body the muscle movements until it was almost a part of him. It isn't much of a physical technique, as it is the perfection of the seal technique, and thankfully Danzō has enough expertise in sealing to recreate it properly. 

Kagami opens the scroll, the drag of blood across the black ink cementing the reality of the situation. He was doing _this_ , was going to bring sensei back to him, just like it was supposed to be, and without hesitating, his hands start moving. 

Tiger. Snake. Dog. Dragon-- 

He clasps his hand together, and the effects are immediately. The air changes around him, as his floor warps into an entire formula of seals, some that Kagami can't even recognize, and he gasps as the chakra goes pouring out of him, even more than he thought it would take. He stumbles forward, hitting his knees, hands pressed against the floor to steady himself. Kagami gasps for air, like somehow that would make the chakra-exhaustion ease up.

Homura lets out a cry of pain. He scrambles away from the...the paper, or not quite paper, the _something_ that was engulfing his legs, his body. He's struggling against his binds, eyes wide and terrified in a betrayed sort of way that should make Kagami's skin crawl in shame and guilt, except it _doesn't._ He straightens up to watch, enthralled by the way the jutsu's ash began to eat away at the flesh of the living, trapping the body to reform it. 

"Kagami!" He cries out, trying to fight. "Kagami, stop, what're you doing? _Kagami, please._ We're friends. Kagami--!"

Homura looks him dead in the eyes right before it starts to cover his mouth, his face. There are tears in his eyes, anger and hatred and _betrayal_ . Like Kagami is personally stabbing him in the back, which he wasn't doing _anything_ that his former friend didn't deserve. 

(Maybe if Homura had been stronger, a better fighter, less of a liability compared to his peers, they wouldn't have had to leave Sensei to die that night. Maybe if Homura and Koharu were stronger, better, _worth_ something on a battlefield, they could've stood at Sensei's side and he wouldn't have left Kagami. He owes this to the Uchiha, for causing their teacher's death. He's paying his due.)

All that does matter is getting Tobira back, and if he's garnered some anger for his actions, so be it. And then he's gone, engulfed in grey flakes of paper-material and dust, and it takes him a moment to realize he's subconciously activated his Sharingan to watch, with what little chakra remains. 

In a final symphony of ash, like the remains of the most beautiful fire, it settles across his floor, layer after layer falling away, leaving in the middle a mop of soft white hair and familiar blue armour. Kagami gasps, delighted, and scrambles forward desperately, launching him forward. 

He slams against the hard body, sending them both sprawling. Tobirama's eyes snap open and he lets out a soft gasp. His gaze hardened in confusion, taking in the situation. He glances all over, eyes bouncing around the room until they land on Kagami on top of him. 

On the remains of the seals around them, and his weakened chakra, but Kagami doesn't care what he sees because he's _here_ with him. 

"Kagami…?" Tobirama says so softly, and he doesn't look quite right. He's pale, grey-hued rather than his usual snowy complexion, with black outlining his beautiful red eyes. Kami-sama, those eyes were enough to melt him apart, even now. He was a handsome man, wasn't he? Kagami's _handsome_ man. It always surprised him that he had no Uchiha competitors for his affections since he was their standard of beauty, and Kagami had followed suit with their usual attraction. Pale skin and red eyes? Beautiful. _Ideal_. 

"Tobirama-sensei." Kagami buries his face into the man's neck, clinging to him like he did for years and years. A hand reaches up, comfortingly resting it against the back of his head, running his fingers through it. He feels the familiar tug of his thick curls being brushed through, and the fondness of the touch could make him shatter right here. 

"Kagami." His sensei doesn't sound pleased, not entirely, but very mournful. Why would he…? "Kagami, what have you done?"

"I loved you too much to let you stay dead, Sensei." 

Tobirama-sensei pulls him away, staring into his dark eyes. "Kagami, you shouldn't have-- we talked about _this_." His voice was strained, forcefully devoid of emotion. His bright red eyes were neutral, if not a touch sad. "Why we can't be… We've discussed this, Kagami."

Kagami lets it go, because he _knows_ what Tobirama must be thinking, "You said there 'wasn't a place for us in this life' because you were Hokage and my teacher. Well, this isn't _that_ life." He explains patiently, because his teacher was always so strictly routed to _rules_ and regulations, always trying to be perceived well in a society that had judged his albinism so harshly. "This is your second life. And you aren't Hokage anymore, or my teacher. You're dead, so none of it matters except that I brought you back so we could be together." 

Tobirama's eyes are pitying. 

(They were pitying the first time they kissed too, almost a year ago, after a small celebration for somebody's birthday, he can't remember. He does remember walking home with Tobirama-sensei, sake on their breaths. Remembers the passionate kiss, remembers the feeling of Sensei's hands on the skin of hips, remembers the desperate clawing at each other's clothes, but then he'd pushed Kagami away, while gasping for breath, insisted it was wrong because of his position as Hokage.) 

"Kagami, you know this isn't what I meant. You need to let me go, and find someone else. Someone you'll love more."

Kagami doesn't mean to let his emotions get the best of him, but they do. It bubbles over inside of him like steam from a pot, bursting and hot and so fleeting that it's only hot for a moment before cooling away into grief. 

"Somebody I'll love _more_ ?" He repeats, aghast. Scoffs at him. "There's _nobody_ I love more than you. Look what your death _did_ to me, and I didn't even see it." And he feels the familiar sting of his new Sharingan, the chakra burning through the tender coils of his optic nerves, the new pinwheels forming in his eyes. 

Tobirama flinches back for a moment, an old habit, but runs a finger under Kagami's eye with his cool fingers, frowning. 

"The Mangekyō. Oh, Kagami." He mutters, and says absolutely nothing else, but it's fine because now he seems to understand Kagami's point. Nobody else could compare, nobody else meant as much to him, nobody could ever spark that _same_ feeling, that same rush of anguished power and rage to _protect and avenge_ in him. 

Kagami pressed against him, arms winding around his waist, pleased they were on their knees against each other, because sensei was too tall for him whenever he was standing up, half a foot taller than him. He wasn't warm, not like all the other times that sensei had held him close, but he was solid and large and _there_. With Kagami, he was here, and all of the efforts were worth it. Every single moment, every promise and sacrifice, just for this moment. 

"I love you, sensei. And now you're back." Kagami tells him with a playful smirk, leaning up, straining his neck. He grabs onto the man's chin, forcing his chin down, so he can look him in the eyes. All that stares back at him is a quiet reluctance and a strange sort of devotion that Kagami couldn't place. 

So he does what he does best. He kisses him, hard and rough, settling himself down onto Sensei's lap, straddling him. He feels the man shift, his back hitting the wall, something falls, but Kagami doesn't care if anything breaks. It doesn't matter, he's got what he wants and needs, and he's pleased. He runs his hands through white hair, yanking softly, trying to get closer and closer to him, so he can't ever leave him again.

Tobirama kisses back, just as intense. Teeth biting at hips lips, hands grasping at him, although he clings very loosely. Kagami only pulls away when he can't hold off on breathing, when his lips hurt and swell, when he absolutely _has to let go._ He pants, pressing his head against Tobirama's neck again, smiling into his reanimated skin. 

"You're supposed to say it back, when someone tells you they love you." Kagami scolds him lightly, but it's alright. He understands, because his sensei has never been the most open with his emotions, especially when it comes down to praise or affection, and he's more physical about those types of things. He smiles up at him. 

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. We have years and years to work on it. You'll get better at voicing your affection. You _do_ love me though, right, Sensei?" Kagami looks up at him, not able to keep the grin off his face, no matter how much the muscles ache there. 

There's no hesitation. "Of course I love you Kagami, you're very precious to me. You're my student."

Kagami's heart leaps right out of his chest. "You're going to stay, right, sensei? Because you love me? You'll stay with me forever, right? Promise me?"

Tobirama's eyes softened, and he pressed a soft kiss onto Kagami's forehead like he did when he was just a genin. Even when the young Uchiha had ungratefully huffed and wiped it away, although he had later wished for an opportunity for him to do it again when he grew older and would appreciate it better. 

"You've already brought me back. It would be disrespectful to waste your efforts." Tobirama's fingers trace around his eyes again, affectionately, and he looks resigned. Tired. "And I have nowhere else to be."

Kagami _beamed_. 

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> i love kagami but writing him is hard, might go back to writing izuna 🤔


End file.
